every day

On January 7, I opened the app and witnessed Renee Good murdered by ICE in Minneapolis. On that same day, I met with clients at work, went to physical therapy for the crunchy joints, ate half a sandwich for dinner. Dissociated by going to a club and dancing with cute girls; snacked on the dopamine until 1:00 a.m.

On January 8, the government’s propaganda machine attempted to steamroll us with bullshit; I watched even more close-up, more slow motion, more detailed videos of Renee Good being murdered and the stuffed animals in her glovebox. I couldn’t get out of bed and missed my morning meeting.

On January 9, I took a nap at 6:30 pm and later told my partner what I want to happen to my body when I die. That was the first time I cried for Renee.

This is what we must do: complete the tasks of life every day under the spell of the most brutal realities imaginable.

I have been doing this for days and days and years.

On January 10, I made soft scrambled eggs for breakfast, vacuumed the bedroom closet. I went to a vigil for Renee and prayed for the dozens of people murdered during ICE raids since 2025. We marched in the streets of the commercial district; we marched for her. My hips screamed at me for all the marching.

I came home after and made dino nuggets and peas for the children, unloaded the dishwasher.